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Ever since I found myself in the right place
at the right time thirty-five years ago as Virginia Tourism Commissioner,
and had the opportunity to develop the award-winning "Virginia
is For Lovers" marketing campaign, I've had a penchant for
collecting tourism slogans.
And frankly, I find some made- up destination slogans to be downright
hilarious.
Such as the tongue- in cheek theme line for North Carolina: "Tobacco?
It's Just a Vegetable!"
Or the silly suggested state motto: "South Dakota. Closer
than North Dakota!
And if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then the
Virginia "Lovers" campaign was flattered to death ("Alabama
is for Livers", Maryland is for Crabs", etc.)
One of my personal favorites came some years ago at a Manhattan
cocktail reception when, as President of the New York CVB, I asked
then Mayoral Candidate Rudy Giuliani what new tourism slogan he'd
recommend for New York City if elected.
He paused a second or two and then responded loudly enough for
all around to hear. "New York. Our city can kick your city's
ass"!, he wisecracked. (I hasten to add that this was prior
to the emergence of the kinder and gentler Rudy-- before his prostate
cancer, divorce, subsequent marriage and 9/11).
I later asked the same question of Donald Trump, who was serving
as a member of the CVB Board. "That's easy, he quipped with
a coy smile: "How about "Trump City"-and I believe
he meant it only half jokingly.
Funny Tourism Signs
I also get a kick out of tourism signs written in English that
you sometimes see posted throughout the world.
Memorable ones include these:
In a Hotel in Athens:
"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between
the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily."
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
In a Zagreb Hotel:
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of
the chambermaid."
Alongside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
In a Japanese hotel:
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
And finally, in the lobby of a Moscow hotel located across the
street from a Russian Monastery:
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
Thursday."
Airline Humor
Years ago, when airlines served honest- to-goodness food, I once
overheard an attendant ask a Nashville traveler if he'd like the
chicken or the pasta entrée for dinner. The passenger thought
for a moment and answered, "I guess I'll try the second one,
the possum."
On another trip to a client, my senior citizen seatmate wanted
to know how a plane could get from Chicago to Detroit--cities
separated by a time zone-- in just 15 minutes.
Although the flight time was 75 minutes, the time zone made the
airline's scheduled departure and arrival seem like the flight
took only 15 minutes. The passenger seemed to be finally satisfied
when the attendant explained that it was a "very fast"
airplane.
Then there's the bizarre story about two airline cargo handlers
who were removing a pet carrier from the plane's cargo hold, only
to discover that the poor dog inside was dead.
Fearful of the bereaved owners anger, the two scurried off to
the nearby dog pound and found an animal of the same breed, size
and color, and proudly delivered it to its destination
As the animal leaped out of the cage, the owner gasped in shock,
turned to the cargo handlers and exclaimed, "This is not
my dog! My dog was dead when I shipped him! He was stuffed! "
(Continued
click here.)
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